June 16, 2024, column from the Amarillo Globe-News

Fathers' Day: 'Grandads' also pass along wisdom to next generation

By Mike Haynes

                Father’s Day shouldn’t be just for fathers. Let’s extend it to grandfathers, too.

                Grandfathers also are fathers, of course, but author and minister Wayne Rice wrote on the Focus on the Family website that there is a special role for them – and for grandmothers, but that’s for another day.

                The Bible makes it clear that God’s wisdom should be taught not just to the next generation, but to the next one after that and beyond. That means the old and gray are expected to pass on what they’ve learned to their grandchildren.

                Deuteronomy 4:9 says, “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” (NIV)

Not everyone has the luxury of growing up close to grandparents. In our mobile society, families often move far from the “home place” so that kids see their parents’ parents only on holidays or infrequent visits. The older folks aren’t in their lives every day or even every week so that the young ones can see how they live and benefit from their guidance.

My Grandad John … (I know, the dictionary says it’s “granddad,” but “Grandad” was his name, and that’s the way we always have spelled it.) … Grandad John, my dad’s dad, did plenty of teaching and storytelling to his grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

                My Grandad Ruel, our mother’s dad, was an active businessman and died young – in 1962 at age 57 – so he wasn’t around long enough for me or my siblings to glean as much as we could have from him. The first thing that comes to mind for me is a little of his goofy humor. Sometimes I would walk by as he was watching a baseball or football game on the black-and-white TV in his den, and he would ask me, “Have you been drinking muddy water?” After I said, “No,” he would reply, “Well, you must have, because I can’t see the TV through you.”

My younger brother David did have a connection with him, though, and one of our prized family photos is of Grandad Ruel at his desk with a young David sitting in a chair next to him. I think the time he spent at Grandad’s office still is an inspiration for my brother in his own business career.

Grandad John was 95 when he died in 1997, and multiple generations lived in or near the same town for decades, so he had longer to influence us. Some of our silly, smalltown wit came down from him, and if we were paying attention, we picked up countless tips about manual labor, cowboy etiquette and integrity. Some of those lessons came through our mom and dad, but lots were directly from hearing or observing Grandad.

“Do what you’re paid to do and then some,” Grandad John would say. “It’s the ‘then some’ that gets your salary raised.”

Neither of my grandfathers were vocal with Bible instruction, but both were loyal church members who led by example. Grandad Ruel was a strong supporter of the Baptist Church, and Grandad John anchored our regular pew, second from the front on the left side, at the Methodist Church. My brother David still sometimes hands out quarters for the collection plate to his own grandchildren on that same pew, something that was a weekly practice for Grandad John.

Our grandparents and parents certainly made sure that we were in Sunday school and church to be exposed to the gospel and the Christian life.

Growing up near grandparents certainly isn’t a requirement for a fulfilling life. My wife, Kathy, was far from hers as a child; her mother’s dad was in Kentucky and her father’s dad in California. Her maternal grandfather died young after years in the Appalachian coal mines. But not having more than one generation nearby wasn’t a handicap. Kathy grew up attending church and youth groups and has a solid Christian faith.

Psalm 71:18 tells us, “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.” (NIV)

Wayne Rice pointed out that “the next generation” refers to a person’s children, and “all who are to come” usually means grandchildren or even later generations. God doesn’t want people to limit their influence to their children but to keep passing it on to their children and to theirs as long as possible.

Most grandfathers – and grandmothers – don’t want to become irrelevant. Mine sure stayed in our lives. Even if some live far away from their grandkids, they can be positive influences. They still have a job to do.